King of the Hill season 12

When the guys take Bobby to a University of Texas football game, their hijinks land them in a VIP box suite, where Hank is mistaken for a former player of the opposing Nebraska Cornhuskers, and is asked to call a crucial play for the team. Meanwhile, Peggy shops for a new TV after breaking the old one in a fit of rage.

Bobby feigns interest in activism when he goes after the heart of a real student activist, who protests the installation of soda machines in the school (and the funds from said soda machines being used to pay for the teachers' vacation).

Hank encourages Bobby to be a part of the school's Powder Puff team (a team where boys dress in drag and impersonate female cheerleaders). However, the boys learn that Peggy and the PTA are trying to put a stop to the tradition, as they feel it's demeaning to women.
Guest Stars: Lisa Edelstein as Alexis and Mitchel Musso as Curtis

Arlen is hit by a heat wave, and Hank takes the kids to the water park. Unfortunately, they have to tangle with a group of surfer bullies to enjoy the "Endless Wave". Meanwhile, Boomhauer tries to regain his coolness after two sexy ladies laugh at him for wearing cutoff jeans, and Bill becomes a local celebrity known as the "Heat Waver" after his car breaks down and he begins waving at passing motorists. Guest Stars: Alex Walkinshaw as Bodhi

While at a Japanese restaurant, Cotton suffers a war flashback and ends up getting hospitalized after falling on the grill and suffering from a shrimp allergy, where Peggy learns that Cotton may not have long to live.^[8]

After buying tough, unsavory steaks at the Mega-Lo-Mart, Hank, at Appleseed's suggestion, visits the town co-op in search of better meat. After falling in love with the delicious organic food, Hank becomes a co-op volunteer and co-owner, but his business skills cause the co-op to sell out to Mega Lo-Mart.

Bobby's plans for a school carnival are ruined by a diversity expert, who tricks the carnival committee into planning an assembly about racial and ethnic guilt. Meanwhile, Dale, Bill and Boomhauer try to get a reluctant Lucky to the hospital when he injures himself.

Minh joins the Arlen Gun Club to learn skeet shooting, a skill she hopes that will make an exclusive country club want her and Kahn as members. Meanwhile, Hank tries to solve the mystery of who's been discarding trash in his trash cans.

Nancy wants Dale to get a new job since he is not making any money, so he and Hank go on a "vocation vacation" to learn basket weaving. Meanwhile, Peggy, Kahn and Bill try to achieve Internet stardom by creating a wacky viral video.

The Hills' dog, Ladybird, suddenly begins acting erratically and is put on a list of vicious dogs, and if Hank doesn't hire a spiritualist to cure her, Ladybird will be euthanized.
Guest Stars: Fred Willard as Officer Brown

When the Arlen City Council bans the sale of foods containing trans fats (along with rare burgers and raw oysters), Sugarfoot's Restaurant goes out of business. Strickland's solution to the problem is to sell his delicious, trans-fatty foods on a lunch truck so he can evade the law. Soon enough, other competitors come along, and with help from Nancy, Hank blackmails the town into repealing the food ban.

Bill becomes involved with a single mother, Charlene, who once had an affair with John Redcorn, and, like Nancy Gribble, has a half-Native American child who, like Joseph Gribble, is ignorant of her biological father's identity. Meanwhile, Joseph falls for Charlene's daughter, but everyone tries to keep him away from her as the two are half-siblings.
Guest Star: Melinda Clarke as Charlene

This episode was originally titled "Three Men and a Bastard."

Hank finds out his car salesman has been tricking him into overpaying for vehicle purchases, and in pursuit of recourse, gets tangled (and nearly prosecuted) in a botched plan cooked up by two college-aged activists.
Guest Star: Ted Danson as Tom Hammond

Peggy inadvertently ruins Enrique's life when she sells a house in Enrique's neighborhood to a young hipster (voiced by Dax Shepard), who invites his hipster friends over to live in the same neighborhood. Meanwhile, Hank is asked to speak at Enrique's daughter Inez's quinceañera.
Guest Stars: Alicia Sixtos as Inez, Dax Shepard as Asa, and Abby Elliott as Hipster Girl

Tom Landry Middle School holds an emergency community meeting when Dooley goes missing in Arlen, run by relationship expert Stephens Davies, who calls Peggy out on not keeping her family tight-knit. Meanwhile, Dale buys a keyboard so he can accentuate conversation with musical flourishes.
Guest Stars: Ed Begley Jr. as Stephen Davies

Kahn becomes a karaoke bar star to show up his father-in-law, General Gum...until Gum steals the karaoke song that made Kahn a hit.

Peggy brings in a family of struggling actors to sell a house currently occupied by the strangest family in Arlen, but inadvertently ends up selling the Hills' house because it looks so good by comparison.
Guest Stars: Abby Elliott as Melrose, David Koechner as Frank, and Glenn Morshower as Bud Ferguson

Joseph becomes the star quarterback at Tom Landry Middle School, and gives the school hope that they'll actually win this year -- until a wealthy prep school offers Joseph a chance to play for their school.

Depressed over her past botched birthday parties, Peggy schedules a 1970s-style murder mystery party on a train, but when Luanne ruins the ending, a new mystery crops up — after Hank and Peggy have sex in the train bathroom.

When Hank accidentally steals another man's wallet (thinking that the man pickpocketed him), the man begins exacting his revenge on Hank. Meanwhile, Bobby gets sentenced to spend the day with the school security guard after being framed for throwing a soda can at him, and Dale attempts to get a job at a Hooters-esque restaurant called "Bazooms" by citing sexual discrimination if he is not hired.
Guest Stars: Fred Willard as Officer Brown

Hank and Bobby get in some father/son bonding time when Hank dumps the old team of Dale, Bill and Boomhauer to help Bobby in a boat-building competition. During the building process, Hank gets spooked by a bat invading the construction garage, forcing Bobby to do the building all alone.

Luanne's father/Peggy's brother, Hoyt (voiced by Johnny Knoxville), comes to Arlen to stay with the family, and Hank discovers that Hoyt is a convict who's one strike away from being put in prison for life and that the story of how he went to work on an oil rig to escape his abusive wife, Leanne, was a lie made up to make Luanne feel better about Hoyt's absence.
Guest Stars: Johnny Knoxville as Hoyt Platter