List of McHale's Navy episodes

Ensign Charles Parker (Tim Conway), newly assigned to the PT 73 crew as Executive Officer, is Captain Binghamton's (Joe Flynn) last hope to tame McHale (Ernest Borgnine) and his "pirates". Binghamton gives Parker one week to get McHale and his men into proper navy form or risk being transferred to the worst assignment in the entire Navy. Though Parker is unwelcome at first, McHale sees potential in the young officer, and orders his crew to shape up so that Parker won't be shipped out.

Note: Bob Hastings (Carpenter) does not appear in this episode.

Trouble follows when Gruber (Carl Ballantine), PT 73 Torpedoman's Mate, who's competing with a hometown neighbor for Greatest War Hero, is awarded a Purple Heart for a small cut on his finger, which he got while doing laundry. Meanwhile, the crew has to go out after a Japanese sub that Binghamton believes they have already sunk. Dale Ishimoto appears as the Japanese Commander.

McHale and the boys go all out to try to help Parker win the attention of Lt. Casey Brown (Betsy Jones-Moreland), a very attractive nurse he's infatuated with. McHale even plots a scheme where they try to make Parker have the symptoms of 'battle fatigue' so that he can be close to the nurse. Parker starts to believe that McHale is actually in love with Casey. Then he finds out Casey is already married.

Note: Joe Flynn (Captain Binghamton) and Bob Hastings (Carpenter) do not appear in this episode, despite both being credited.

Virgil (Edson Stroll), PT 73 Gunner's Mate, loses the 73 while taking a nightly ride to charm an island girl. Binghamton finds out and is ready to have McHale in front of a court martial. The crew arranges for a replacement so they can take a week's R&R trip to New Caledonia. Things get complicated when Virgil comes back with the 73.

McHale and the 73 crew avert an attack on a Navy convoy, by employing a clever plan involving John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart, and Errol Flynn. McHale accomplishes this by splicing war movies, that they stole from Binghamton, together and placing large speakers on the island. Now the enemy will hear all the bombing and think the landing is taking place.

McHale, Nurse Molly (Jane Dulo), and the 73 crew must practice some trickery to keep Binghamton at bay, while they arrange for an against-the-rules wedding for Christy (Gary Vinson), PT-73 Quartermaster; and his fiancee, Lieutenant Gloria Winters (Cindy Robbins). McHale must also stop the wedding party from getting larger and larger. Don Matheson appears as Lt. Harris.

Note: Bob Hastings (Carpenter) does not appear in this episode.

Chief Urulu (Jacques Aubuchon) puts a curse on Binghamton, when Binghamton refuses to arrange for monetary compensation for damages inflicted on Urulu's island by the Navy's "cannon boats." Binghamton thinks it is all funny until he starts having bad luck at every turn. Adm. Hawkins (Willis Bouchey) wants to send a replacement for Binghamton if things do not improve. Not wanting someone who could be worse, the boys decide to help Binghamton. Gruber dresses up like a local witch doctor to make Binghamton believe he can remove the curse.

A 3-sister singing act is stranded on a deserted island, and McHale and the 73 crew have an ulterior motive when they volunteer for the rescue mission. But the girls, having had such experiences in the past, are wise to their plan.

While out on a recon mission, McHale and the 73 crew discover a deserted plantation, which they turn into a party house where they can enjoy themselves when not on duty secret from Binghamton. But their activities draw the attention of both the U.S. Navy and the Japanese. McHale dodges a court martial and Binghamton gets a commendation.

Note: This is the last episode to bear "SOMEWHERE IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC 1943" billing in the opening scene.

Note: Bob Hastings (Carpenter) does not appear in this episode.

McHale and the 73 crew must practice some trickery to keep Binghamton from building his new officer's club on McHale's island. The crew tries to sabotage the building materials but things backfire. Binghamton now will just take over McHale's living quarters, sending McHale's crew back to the main base. But with McHale's crew on the base, Binghamton cannot enjoy the Officer's Club because he is always thinking McHale is up to something on the base. And Binghamton's fears are going to be confirmed.

"Santa" McHale must practice some psychological warfare when he, the crew, Binghamton, and a war correspondent are captured by a Japanese patrol while on a mission to bring some Christmas joy to the children of a nearby orphanage. Anna Lee appears as Pamela Parfrey, head of the orphanage. Cherylene Lee appears as Tani, one of the orphans. Yuki Shimoda appears as Major Simuru. Noel Drayton appears as a British Commander.

Binghamton has the two PT commanders, McHale and Carpenter, in a meeting to discuss a female war correspondent, Patricia Brent, that will be doing a story on PT boats. Gruber has already met a fine looking lady that was picking up film for the trip aboard the PT boat. Gruber thought that this women was Patricia Brent and made a point to comment to the other guys about how beautiful this women looked. When the real Patricia Brent is assigned to the 73 crew, they find her to be a foul mouth, homely woman that is a constant pain for everyone. McHale and the boys must work up a plan to get rid of her.

Ashamed of his desk job, Binghamton assumes command of the 73 during McHale's absence, and takes it out on a combat mission so that he can have a war story to share with his battle-hardened fellow officers. Wanting to give Binghamton a good story, the crew hopes to use Fuji as a Japanese scout that Binghamton can fight with. But, Fuji doesn't make it onto the boat so they dress up Tinker as a Japanese soldier. Tinker winds up in a real Japanese scout group. Will Binghamton get the war story he wants? Frank Gerstle appears as Capt. Dawson. Walter Brooke appears as Capt. Burns. Mako appears as a Japanese Soldier.

Congresswoman Clara Clark (Jean Willes) is visiting the base with the intention of picking out a regular GI to help sell war bonds in the States. Parker and the crew scheme to get McHale chosen for the war bond tour. But when they find out that they won't be included, they cook up another plan to get McHale off the hook. The plan doesn't work and Ms. Clark still insists on McHale going. That is, until she finds a certain other Commander that comes from her state of Massachusetts (implied to be John F. Kennedy).

Gruber has been selling Fuji's Polynesian dishes to the Taratupa personnel. Trouble develops when Binghamton, having sampled the delicious food, insists that McHale send his cook over to prepare dinner for visiting Admiral Striker (Frank Ferguson). McHale sends Tinker hoping that he'll make a bad enough meal that Binghamton will send him back. When that fails, McHale comes up with another solution. Paul Smith appears as a Commander.

Ensign Parker is doing gunnery training, but he can't hit the broad side of a barn. Gruber does not just give him a passing score, he gives him the best score on the base. When rough mouth Captain Kittridge (Don "Red" Barry) comes onto base, he brags about the men on his boat. Binghamton now bets Kittridge his sea clock that Parker can shoot better than his man, Ensign Dennison (Edward Mallory). Parker loses and McHale must come up with a plan to stop Binghamton from transferring him out.

The crew rescue two French nationals, Mr. Gerard (Marcel Hillaire) and his beautiful young daughter Yvette Gerard (Claudine Longet), off an island that the Japanese have occupied. Yvette agrees to help the guys out, in a plan to raise expense money for the birth of Christy's child. They are going to have a raffle and the winner is going to get a nice dinner and a date with her. Binghamton finds out and wants to shut the whole thing down, that is, until he finds out Admiral Reynolds has the winning ticket. Sally Mansfield appears as a nurse.

Note: This is the smallest episode appearance of Commander McHale as he only appears in the very first and the very last scene for only about a minute total.

McHale and the boys must scheme to procure new engines for their beloved boat, before Binghamton ships the 73 crew out to a new location. McHale's crew is not going down without a fight when suddenly electrical parts from all over the base come up missing. Capt. Evans (Ted Knight ), the inspector, is set to arrive at the base the next day. Binghamton puts McHale's crew into the brig and cannot want till morning when the boat is inspected. The boys still manage to find some new engines. Eddie Quillan appears as a Sailor.

Binghamton angers the native islanders when he orders the entire base not to have anything to do with them. Chief Watara's daughter, Little Flower, gets the hots for Ensign Parker. The Chief now thinks the two are engaged. The Secretary of the Navy is coming to check on Native / Navy relations. Binghamton makes amends with the Natives in order to make a good impression with the Secretary. But Parker runs off on Little Flower angering the Chief again. McHale now has to turn War Drums into Happy Drums.

Fed up with a lack of respect from the crew, and low on self-esteem, Parker puts in for a transfer. But complications develop when McHale and the boys work up a scheme to try to make him change his mind. McHale fakes a sickness in order for Parker to be in charge of a very important mission. But when things go wrong on the mission, the PT boat and the crew are captured by the Japanese. Now with Binghamton upset, McHale is going to have to find his crew before they are shipped out to a prisoner of war camp. Dale Ishimoto appears as The Japanese Lieutenant.

Note: Bob Hastings (Carpenter) does not appear in this episode.

A new Navy directive states that all overweight combat officers are to be shipped out. This prompts Binghamton to see that McHale puts on an extra 6 pounds – enough to put him over the limit. A sneaky Binghamton tells McHale that he wants to be friends with him. Binghamton invites McHale to dinner parties, beer drinks and even dessert trays. By the time McHale finds out about the physical he is over the weight limit. But the crew from PT 73 has a plan. Tom Brown appears as the Chief Medical Officer.

Complications develop when McHale and the 73 crew go after a certain Japanese pilot known as "Washing Machine Charlie," who has been attacking the Taratupa base on a daily basis. Word has got back to the Admiral and he wants a stop to the daily raid. He cancels all leave, which McHale's crew was to start, until Washing Machine Charlie is found. The crew come up with a plan to make it look as though they had shot "Charlie" down. McHale learns about the fraud and now they are hunting every island in hopes of finding the plane before the Admiral arrives. Despite some mishaps, the crew get "Charlie".

Binghamton suspects McHale and the 73 crew of consorting with the enemy when a Japanese radio announcer broadcasts personal details about Binghamton that only someone close to him would know. Binghamton tries to get Parker to spy on McHale. When Binghamton sees McHale talking to Fuji, he goes off to arrest McHale. But before he can do that, Carpenter arrests Binghamton. It appears that Binghamton's wife is the source of the leaks. Julie Bennett voices Nippon Nancy.

Parker mixes business with pleasure on Emile Gerard's (Marcel Hillaire) island plantation. Charles gets to spend some time with Yvette Gerard (Claudine Longet). Later, he must pose as a Frenchman in order to avoid capture while he reports details on a Japanese radio-jamming operation. Thanks to a message from Parker, McHale and crew manage to capture the Japanese and destroy the jamming station. Mako appears as Capt. Uzaki.

Note: Bob Hastings (Carpenter) does not appear in this episode.

A mix-up with a dictating machine brings a big, but poorly timed, Mother's Day surprise for Parker, Gruber, and Tinker. Their mothers are coming for a visit. The bad thing is that on Mother's Day, McHale and his group were planning a casino night for the entire base. Now with the mother's arriving it is going to throw a wrench into their plans. With Capt. Bryce (Dan Frazer) from the Pentagon on the island, McHale is going to have to play it safe. Naomi Stevens appears as Mrs. Gruber. Cheerio Meredith appears as Mrs. Bell.

Binghamton devises a deceitful plan to have McHale chosen for the position of Liaison Officer at British Fleet HQ in Australia. Parker and the crew unwittingly help McHale to get the job, then must scheme to get him off the hook when they find out that they won't be going along. McHale first tries to act drunk and obnoxious. When that doesn't work, the crew has Ensign Parker dress up like a British Admiral. Ben Wright appears as Sir Percy. Noel Drayton appears as Lt. Commander Forbes. James Forrest appears as Lt. Crandall.

With McHale and his Crew presumably killed in action, publicity-hungry Binghamton plays the part of the grieving commanding officer when a war correspondent (Allan Melvin) comes to Taratupa looking for a big story. But when McHale and the crew turn up very much alive and well, Binghamton must cooperate with McHale to work up a cover story. When the cover story doesn't go as planned, McHale and crew must rescue a captured Binghamton. John Fujioka appears as a Japanese Officer.

Thinking that a visiting personnel officer (Herb Vigran) has come to appraise Binghamton for a possible promotion and transfer, McHale and the 73 crew put on a show of their very best behavior. But when they discover that the real reason for the officer's visit is to appraise McHale for a possible transfer, they must quickly become the most incompetent PT crew in the South Pacific.

Binghamton needs help from Chief Urulu and his tribe to modify the Taratupa airstrip. Urulu – angry over a bad deal with Gruber, involving Navy property – flatly refuses. But, after some lessons on democracy from McHale and Parker, Urulu changes his mind, and drives a hard bargain with Binghamton for the services of his tribe. In an attempt to end Urulu's demands, McHale runs an election between Urulu and Maloko (Olan Soule) for president. Maloko wins, but it doesn't wind up helping much. Maloko makes Urulu Secretary of Labor.

When a combat photographer (Artie Johnson) is assigned to the 73 to get some footage of the crew in action, Gruber borrows his movie camera to use in a money-making scheme. Then, when complications develop, McHale and the boys must work up a plan to avoid trouble for both themselves and the photographer.

McHale and the boys scheme to get rid of Seaman Smoot, a troublesome new member of the 73 crew, and in the process wind up in big trouble. But Smoot – who happens to be the spitting image of Binghamton (Joe Flynn in a dual role) – turns out to be quite useful in a complicated plan to get them off the hook. John Rodney appears as Taggart, a magazine photographer. Sally Mansfield appears as Lt. Lovett.

McHale and the crew take in Kim Su (Cherylene Lee), a young orphan girl, and go out of their way to make a happy home for her on their island. But their quiet behavior arouses Binghamton's suspicions, and he uses the situation to have the 73 crew sized up as possible "Section Eights" by some visiting psychiatrists. When Binghamton hears that a little girl is missing, he believes McHale and crew kidnapped her. McHale finds a couple to adopt Kim Su, but Binghamton wants to send her back to the Orphan Ship. The psychiatrists help McHale change Binghamton's mind.

During a mission to investigate the crash site of a Japanese transport plane, McHale and the crew recover four million dollars in American cash. Thinking that it is counterfeit, they return to base, where Gruber later trades it to Chief Urulu for some native trinkets. But when they find out that the money is real – stolen by the Japanese from a bank in the Philippines – Gruber challenges Urulu to a winner-take-all poker game to get it back. But, Urulu wants to play Parker. Carleton Carpenter appears as The Witch Doctor. Tyler McVey appears as Admiral Druten.

Willy (Bobby Wright), the PT-73 Radioman, is deeply saddened when he receives a letter from his Tennessee girlfriend, telling him that she is about to marry another man. Willy gets on Binghamton's bad side and might get shipped out. So McHale and the crew throw a big "Hillbilly Hoe-down" to cheer up their heartbroken friend. The Party is attended, unexpectedly, by Congressman Joymer (Don Harvey) from the Naval Appropriations Committee as well their nemesis Capt. Binghamton. Turns out the Congressman is also from Tennessee and he makes sure that Willie isn't shipped out.

McHale and the crew are stuck with Admiral Hanson's (Jack Davis) spoiled-brat son Bruce. Bruce causes quite a bit of trouble for them, noting every violation of Navy regulations for a report to his father. He also happens to get onto PT 73 while on a mission to locate a Japanese submarine and then breaks radio silence so that the 73's location is given to the enemy. But McHale is soon fed up with the little jerk, and straightens him out with a bit of his own brand of Navy discipline.

Binghamton makes Parker his personal aide, in the hope of impressing Parker's uncle – an admiral on the Promotions Board (played by Harry Von Zell). But the admiral is uncomfortable with the fact that his inept nephew also functions as a combat officer, and orders Parker to pack his bags for a safer position in the States. He changes his mind, however, when he sees how dedicated McHale and the crew are to Ensign Parker, after they put themselves at risk to rescue him in the Bay during an air raid. Harlan Warde appears as Cmdr. McIntyre.

While searching McHale's island for a stolen case of rare champagne, Binghamton captures Fuji and places him under arrest as a spy. McHale and the crew concoct a complicated plan to free their Japanese friend. They make the base think the war is over and then Fuji will no longer be needed. But the plan may backfire when Admiral Rogers (Roy Roberts) makes a surprise visit to the base. All is forgiven when they wind up with an unexpected bonus. John Fujioka appears as The Japanese Captain.

Binghamton begins to regret having so harshly punished the 73 crew, when McHale and the boys – while in the process of trying to rid their island of a bothersome bird – give the Captain the impression that they are out to kill him. Now the Captain lives in fear, and with Adm. Tucker (Paul Bryar) coming to give fitness reports, it may not be the best time to be paranoid. McHale and crew want to give Binghamton a surprise birthday party to try and get on his good side again. When they finally get Binghamton to the island for the party, the Captain learns that the crew was actually trying to kill a bird. Walter Brooke appears as Capt. Harper. Paul Smith appears as Cmdr. Carter.

Binghamton accuses Parker of cowardice after Parker loses his cool during the pursuit of a Japanese patrol boat. But Parker redeems himself, when – after a little pep talk from McHale – he orchestrates the destruction of a German U-Boat, which was on a mission to rendezvous with a Japanese patrol. Mako appears as Lt. Yamasake.

McHale and the crew devise a plan, potentially beneficial to both them and Captain Binghamton, to have popular movie star Rita Howard (Lisa Seagram) put on a show on Taratupa for Admiral Rogers (Roy Roberts). First, however, they must scheme to get the star's stubborn tour manager, Colonel Pryor (Bernie Kopell), out of the way. The scheme will involve having Ensign Parker dress up like a medical doctor to distract Pryor from stopping the show. Just when Pryor is about to unravel the boys plan, Admiral Rogers comes to the rescue.

In an attempt to impress Admiral Bensen (Bill Quinn), Binghamton drops some serious charges against the 73 crew, in return for a show of their "high esteem" for their commander in the form of a testimonial dinner. Knowing that no one will attend the dinner willingly, McHale and the boys plan to combine the dinner with a big crap game, in order to have a showing for the most hated commanding officer in the Pacific.

McHale and the boys have planned some entertainment for the base personnel, but Binghamton puts a stop to it and orders McHale and his crew to ferry him to a staff meeting, so that he can keep an eye on them. But, after the 73 is put out of commission by a Japanese plane, Binghamton is forced to do some entertaining of his own, during a mission to obtain some fuel on a Japanese-held island. Mako and Allen Jung appear as Japanese Soldiers.

While trying to impress a pretty nurse (Joyce Bulifant), Parker receives several serious blows to his morale and, humiliated, he puts in for a transfer. Then complications arise, when McHale, the crew, and the nurse work up a plan to try to help him to regain his self-esteem and change his mind. Rollin Moriyama appears as a Japanese Sentry.

Binghamton finds out that Parker is an old friend of Whit Barrett (Peter Leeds), a famous war correspondent who is coming to the base. He makes Parker the Base PR Officer, in the hope of becoming the subject of Barrett's next story. Parker comes up with a nick-name for Binghamton in the form of 'Jolly Wally'. He tells Binghamton that the name will catch on and everyone will remember the brave Commander that laughed in the face of danger. But Parker's plan to improve the Captain's image backfires when he laughs at everything. Com-fleet sends Captain Saunders (Nelson Olmsted), a psychiatrist, down to the base to evaluate the mental capacity of Binghamton.

Gruber and the guys concoct a very tall story to try to turn Tinker into a hero, so that he can win the heart of his favorite girl, Nurse Betsy (Barbara Werle). But the rumor of Tinker's "secret mission" soon spreads throughout the South Pacific. Trouble develops when glory-hungry Binghamton tries to get in on the action. Binghamton orders McHale to deliver a refrigerator to a local Admiral on a nearby island. But, because of the rumor, the entire Japanese war machine believes the 73 is carrying a secret weapon.

Doc Whitmore (Nelson Olmsted) makes it clear to Binghamton that he needs some rest away from the island. Binghamton is convinced that McHale and the 73 crew are consorting with the enemy, and when he can't get anyone to believe him, he calls for a Naval Intelligence team to search McHale's island for evidence. So, to get him to call off the search, McHale and the guys devise an elaborate scheme to make Binghamton think he's losing his mind.

While on an unauthorized liberty in New Caledonia, McHale and the crew are all thrown in jail for various reasons. McHale's old semi-friend, crooked Frenchman "Big Frenchy" (George Kennedy), steals the 73 to use for some crooked business. McHale and the crew must then scheme to get out of jail, find Frenchy, and get the 73 back before Binghamton returns from a staff meeting. And as an added plus the boys capture some Japanese soldiers. Benny Rubin appears as the French Police Chief. Dale Ishimoto appears as a Japanese Officer.

Note: Bob Hastings (Lieutenant Carptener) does not appear in this episode.

When Happy begins sleepwalking due to his insecurity with women, Binghamton orders him to be psychiatrically evaluated, and shipped out if found unfit for duty. With the help from the female nurses, and a hair piece, McHale hopes to show Happy that women are still attracted to him and stop his sleep-walking. But, they must first get around Binghamton's "No fraternization" rule. Sheila Kuehl appears as Lt. Nancy Culpepper. Jackie Searl appears as Sgt. Flynn.

The 73 crew's heartsick Japanese friend Fuji must get a letter to his best girl back home in Japan. But a secret mission to mail the letter from a Japanese-held island becomes complicated, when Fuji's letter gets mixed up in Binghamton's plan to distribute propaganda leaflets to the enemy. Only later does Binghamton learn the true words on the letter and he calls for intelligence to arrest McHale for treason. Capt. Martin (John Zaremba) from Com-Fleet comes by and congratulates McHale because many Japanese soldiers have surrendered because of the love letter. John Fujioka and Mako appear as Japanese soldiers.

Tinker is arrested for the theft of Binghamton's printing press, and the Captain taps Parker to be Tinker's defense counsel in a trial which Binghamton himself will preside over. Parker and McHale must then stall the proceedings, while Gruber and the crew execute a plan to get Tinker off the hook with a bit of creative evidence-tampering.

A new Navy directive, ordering all married officers to be shipped home, prompts Binghamton to scheme to get McHale married off to a shady saloon-keeper by the name of Kate O'Hara (Joyce Jameson), an old friend of McHale's. But neither Kate nor McHale want to tie the knot, so they join forces to try to thwart Binghamton's plan. Clay Tanner appears as a Marine Guard.

Gruber and the guys try to make some money with some phony pearl oysters, but their scheme backfires when a greedy Binghamton takes over their operation. Then, when Chief Urulu muscles in on Binghamton's business, McHale and the crew put a stop to the whole operation, by taking advantage of an old native superstition and some Japanese technology.

Major complications develop when the guys send a chapter of Parker's war novel – including a highly fictionalized account of his sinking of the biggest battleship in the Japanese fleet – to Parker's hometown girlfriend, in an attempt to help him win her heart. After reading the article about the sinking, Congressman Fogelson (Herb Vigran) wants to come to Taratupa to give Parker a medal. A Japanese Officer (John Fujioka) also sees the article and sends the Yakamura to Taratupa. Bombers are able to sink the ship, so Parker turns out to be a hero anyway. Bill Quinn appears as Admiral Elliot.

Greedy Binghamton is offered a promotion and transfer up to Fleet HQ, but must first reconcile a shortage in the base's equipment inventory. McHale goes to Gruber, who claims that most of the stuff was traded to Chief Urulu. So, McHale pleads with the Chief to return the items so that Binghamton can be transferred. The Chief agrees to return the items but he forgets to tell McHale that one large item, a barrage balloon, was traded to the Japanese. McHale, with Urulu's help, is going to have to deal with the enemy. But with all the delays, Binghamton's transfer is cancelled.

A business venture involving the manufacture and sale of sarongs to the base personnel has the guys divided into two separate quarreling groups. When the feud escalates, Binghamton tries to take advantage of its effect on them during a PT crew efficiency test, their failure of which would mean their being shipped out for re-assignment. Their test initially doesn't go well. But, they redeem themselves by sinking a Japanese sub.

When Binghamton declines permission for McHale and the crew to put on a big show to raise funds for the local orphanage, Parker uses his newly acquired skill as a hypnotist to make the Captain more agreeable. But the scheme is complicated by the visit of Senator Block (Jim Boles) from the Armed Services Committee. In the end, the Senator enjoyed the show and commends Binghamton.

Parker, a dead ringer for an important British General (Tim Conway in a dual role), agrees to put his life on the line by posing as the General, to divert the attention of spies in New Caledonia while the real General carries out a crucial invasion of a Japanese-held island. The rest of the 73 crew come along to help protect Parker. Henry Corden and Susan Cummings appear as the spies. Walter Brooke appears as Capt. Harlow. Rolfe Sedan appears as The Mayor.

Binghamton once again insults Chief Urulu. Binghamton is ordered to purchase one of Chief Urulu's islands for the construction of a radar station. Now Binghamton has to suck up to the Chief. But Urulu, knowing that he's got the Navy "over a barrel," inflates the price of his real estate to ridiculous levels. So McHale and the crew try to help the Captain out, with a scheme to devalue the Chief's land. But the plan backfires when oil is discovered on the small island and the Japanese attack.

Binghamton gets hold of Parker's diary, which includes details of the crew's shady activities. The guys steal the diary from the Captain's safe. Binghamton then sets out to personally escort Parker to the Admiral to testify about the contents of the diary. But, after falling into enemy hands on the way and being rescued by the 73 crew, Binghamton changes his mind (after some gentle persuasion by McHale). Edward Mallory appears as The Co-Pilot.

McHale and the crew must scheme to stay out of trouble when the lovely daughter Babette (Susan Silo) of French businessman Charles Armand Bergerac (Jesse Jacobs) shows up on the 73, having stowed away during an unauthorized stop at New Caledonia. The US Navy is in negotiations to buy land for a supply post from Bergerac. Binghamton finds out about the girl on the base and is set to court-martial the 73 crew. Parker dresses up like Bergeac, and demands that his daughter is returned and the matter of the court-martial be ended. Problems arise when Admiral Rogers arrives with the real Bergeac.

Binghamton is informed that his sick bay is over-run with men faking an illness. He wants all the wards cleared out. Fuji has a bad toothache, and McHale and the crew must figure out a way to get him in to the dentist during an inspection tour by the Fleet Medical Officer, Admiral Harris (Paul Bryar). Parker poses as a patient and tries to get Fuji some medicine for the pain. When that doesn't work, they try to disguise Fuji and bring him in. In the end, both Binghamton and Fuji lose a tooth, but in different ways. Sandra Gould appears as a nurse.

Five-time Oscar-winning director John Burton (Robert F. Simon) comes to Taratupa to shoot a documentary on PT boats and their crews. Binghamton does all he can to make sure that he is the lead in the production. But, McHale and the crew successfully scheme to become the stars of the film. The crew of the 73 are excited about being in the picture but when Burton turns out to be a hard driven man the crew is all of a sudden not as happy as they thought they would be. When they find out that Fuji has sneaked into the production, they must re-shoot the movie themselves, with surprising results.

A female Russian Naval officer named Commander Krasni (Sue Ane Langdon) reports to McHale for PT boat training. But soon she is disgusted with the 73 crew's lack of discipline, and asks to be assigned to another crew. When Binghamton finds out that the chosen crew will shipped out to Russia, he talks Commander Krasni into staying with McHale. McHale and the guys must then work up a plan to get out of the situation. Cliff Norton appears as Russian Admiral Gurevitch. Bill Quinn appears as Admiral Farley.

The French thief and con-artist first talks Binghamton out of a load of Navy supplies, then cons Parker into helping him get them to New Caledonia. Admiral Rogers comes by and warns Binghamton about a Frenchman stealing supplies. McHale and the guys must then follow Frenchy, rescue Parker, and recover the supplies.

The base is being bothered by a Japanese fighter that they call 'Hit-and-Run Harry'. It seems that Harry is causing problems and even sunk PT boat 25 during one of his air-raids. After being restricted to their island by Binghamton, McHale and the guys mock up the damaged PT boat to look like the 73, so that they can sneak a load of building materials to a nearby island village, to help the natives rebuild after an air raid. But complications develop when Admiral Rogers visits Taratupa to investigate. Binghamton tells the Admiral that McHale and crew have deserted. When McHale manages to shoot down Harry, Admiral Rogers forgets about Binghamton's accusation.

While temporarily assigned to the 73 crew, a lazy, pampered rock-and-roll star named Harley Hatfield (Jesse Pearson) is captured by a Japanese patrol while out on maneuvers with Parker and the crew. With Harley singing, the Japanese are a captive audience, making it easy for McHale and the guys to take them prisoners. Meanwhile, Admiral Steinholtz (Willis Bouchey) is coming to see Harley perform. While McHale is coming back with Harley, Parker initially stands in for the singer to stall for time.

To keep Parker from being shipped out, McHale and the crew try to help the Ensign raise a thousand bucks to replace a string of pearls – a gift for Binghamton's wife – that was destroyed as Parker tried to save the Captain from what he thought was an air raid. Virgil finds a treasure map and the boys hope to get enough money to help Parker. But the map leads them to under Binghamton's hut. The boys must find a way to convince Binghamton that they moved his hut to save his life.

Impressed by a gangster movie he's recently seen, Chief Urulu plays mob chieftain and refuses to sign the document allowing the Navy the use of McHale's island. So McHale and the crew, and even Binghamton, Carpenter, and Admiral Rogers, join forces and play their own mobster game, to try to make Urulu change his mind. Nestor Paiva appears as Big Louie, in the gangster film.

In temporary command of the base while Binghamton recovers from a broken leg, and drunk with power, Carpenter gets the goods on the crew and has them up for Court Martial on several serious charges. McHale comes up with a plan to make the injured Binghamton think that Carpenter is trying to get the Captain's job. Binghamton falls for the trap and now he thinks that Carpenter has called a meeting with the Admiral to discuss his retirement. In a fit of rage, Binghamton destroys all of Carpenter's evidence against the 73 crew.

Gruber and the guys pick up a few souvenirs during a mission, unaware that they're valuable items stolen by the Japanese during the battle of Manila. When one of the items – a priceless antique tea set – winds up as a wedding present for Admiral Hardesy's (John Zaremba) daughter, McHale and the crew must make a hasty trip to New Caledonia. There, Parker must play the part of the officiating Chaplain as part of a scheme to get it back. Parker actually performs the wedding. Chaplain Conklin saves the day by swapping out the tea set and officially marrying the couple later. Eleanor Audley appears as Mrs. Millicent Hardesy.

Binghamton bows to pressure from Roger Whitfield III (George Furth), the snobbish, swinging-bachelor son of his former employer, in the hope of returning to his Stateside job after the war. Whitfield takes advantage of the situation and bosses Binghamton around like a servant. The entire situation comes to a head when Ensign Whitfield thinks about getting permanently transferred to Taratupa and having Parker shipped out. The Captain conspires with McHale and the 73 crew in a plan to get rid of him. They do this by pretending that Whitfield saves Little Flower's life and now has to marry her.

Christy has a chance to hear his little girl call him Daddy, courtesy of a ham radio operator (Phil Arnold) in the States. When Binghamton denies the use of the base radio, McHale and the boys have to come up with a plan where they can get into the guarded radio hut to listen to the transmission. Things do not go as planned and Christy does not hear his daughter's words. With the Japaneses jamming the frequency there is little hope that the transmission will continue. Binghamton orders all the PT crews out looking for the jamming devices. The 73 crew find the radio jamming devices but instead of destroying the radio, they take the radio back to their island so they can transmit to the states. But when they start transmitting, Binghamton gets a call from the Admiral that the jamming device is on McHale's island. Binghamton sets out to arrest the crew of the 73. But when the baby talks, even Binghamton gets into the spirit of things. Cindy Robbins appears as Christy's wife.

Note: This episode marks the final appearance Gavin MacLeod as Happy.

The crew of the 73 has been having bad luck recently and with Friday the 13th approaching things are getting worse. When Binghamton discovers how superstitious McHale and the crew are, he devises a plan to scare them into transferring out. But when McHale and the boys find that they've been duped, they cook up their own plan to scare Binghamton into canceling their transfers. The boys get Binghamton to believe that because of him, the 73 boat has been sunk with the crew being killed. They then pretend to haunt Binghamton.

With his letters home, Gruber has led his girlfriend Ginger (Jean Hale) to believe that he's a Lieutenant Commander. When Ginger pays a surprise visit to Taratupa as part of a traveling show, McHale reluctantly agrees to help Gruber save face by allowing him to act out the part. The charade almost gets them into big trouble, but winds up working out for the good when it helps foil Binghamton's plan to have McHale assigned to a British Liaison's position. Ben Wright appears as Commodore Norcross. James Forrest appears as Lieutenant Crowder.

Left alone on the 73 in New Caledonia, while McHale attends a staff meeting and the crew are on an unauthorized liberty, Parker receives an order from Binghamton to pick up the base payroll. After Parker's robbed of the $62,000, McHale and the guys frantically try to locate the cash before Binghamton can accuse them of the theft. Thanks to Parker being Parker, they find the money.

Binghamton fakes an illness and checks into the base hospital, appointing McHale as temporary Base Commander to face an unscheduled inspection by the tough Admiral Rafferty (Philip Ober). With the crew having a party with hula-girls, everything seems to be going as planned for Binghamton. But Binghamton's plan backfires when McHale and the crew manage to make it through the inspection and turn the tables on the Captain. Raquel Welch appears as Lt. Wilson.

Ordered to provide a safe haven for a Sultan (Henry Corden) and his three daughters, Binghamton is forced to send McHale and the 73 crew to rescue the royal family and bring them to Taratupa. But when Virgil, PT 73 Gunner's Mate sneaks one of the princesses away for a romantic boat ride, Parker must become her stand-in while the guys hustle to return the real princess, before the Sultan and the Captain discover that she's missing.

Note: Even though he left the series at the end of season two, Gavin MacLeod appears as Happy in this episode.

After Parker nearly drowns Binghamton during an accident on the 73, the Captain calls for a Fitness Board inquiry to determine Parker's fitness for duty. McHale and the boys then execute a clever plan – involving nitrous oxide, or "laughing gas" – to get Binghamton to change his mind, which backfires when Admiral Shoemaker (Bill Quinn) from the Board arrives early to investigate Parker's situation. After Parker gets a dose of the gas, he shoots down an enemy plane during an air raid. Admiral Shoemaker believes Parker to be a brave man and now has his doubts about Binghamton. Julie Gregg appears as a Nurse.

After Binghamton devises a scheme to frame McHale and the crew for the theft of his wallet, Parker is arrested and charged with the crime. But the Ensign is cleared at the last minute, when McHale and the boys produce Parker's star witness: an alligator that has taken a special liking to Parker. Walter Brooke appears as Captain Swan.

Binghamton has an ulterior motive when he temporarily assigns clumsy, bumbling British Sub-Lieutenant Clivedon (Bernard Fox) to the 73 crew. When the Britisher accidentally captures Fuji and places him under arrest as a spy, McHale and Parker work up a rather risky plan to free their Japanese friend. Parker is going to dress up as Clivedon's cousin, British Admiral Sommers, and hopefully talk his way into letting Binghamton release Fuji. The plan is complicated by a visit from the real Admiral Sommers (Maurice Dallimore).

After Parker is passed over again for a promotion, Gruber devises a way for him to vent his frustrations. He makes up a punching-bag that resembles Binghamton. While Parker goes and gets some boxing gloves the real Binghamton shows up. When Parker returns he hits the real Binghamton which winds up landing the Ensign in the brig, pending Court Martial. Then, when the crew finds out about an upcoming visit by the head of the Senate Naval Affairs Committee – whose name just happens to be Parker – McHale and the boys work up a scheme to get their Executive Officer off the hook.

With a youth oriented Admiral named Go-Go Granger (Ted Knight) set on visiting the island, Binghamton wants to show the Admiral that he still has spunk. With his new name of Bing-Bing Binghamton, he leads the boat of the 73 on a patrol that will be to a nearby island. The problem is that on the nearby island is where the crew makes their moonshine and Binghamton is bound to find out. The still is damaged in an air raid and its contents spill into a stream. After Binghamton drinks from it, McHale and the guys must convince him that the reason he feels so good is that he's partaken of "The Fountain Of Youth" in order to protect their secret. When Go-Go Granger shows up, he's upset to see that Binghamton has been drinking while on duty.

Binghamton orders McHale to negotiate a treaty with the head-hunting natives of a nearby island, for the construction of an airstrip. But the native Chief (Stanley Adams) refuses to sign until their recently deceased witch doctor has been replaced. When Parker accidentally gets the job, he manages to successfully negotiate the treaty with the help of the sun, the moon, and a cigarette lighter. The Chief now wants Parker to stay with the tribe and marry the old witch doctor's wives. Ned Romero appears as the fierce Native.

Binghamton has his eye on a piece of oceanfront property in New Caledonia, and when it seems that Parker has come into some big money, the Captain hits him up for a loan so that he can acquire it. Parker unwittingly agrees, but after he finds out that his windfall is nearly nothing, Binghamton must join McHale and the 73 crew in a scheme to get out of the deal, which nearly gets them all into big trouble but winds up working out for the good. Lee Bergere appears as Fair Pierre, the crooked real estate man. Victoria Carroll appears as the 1st Nurse.

Christy, PT-73 Quartermaster risks being AWOL, when in a desperate attempt to be with his little daughter on her second birthday, he tries to hitch a ride on a bomber bound for his home town of San Diego. Major complications develop when, as the result of a letter from Gruber and the guys to Fleet Command, Christy is chosen as the Navy's "Father of the Year" and will be sent to the states. Parker pretends to be Christy. Christy winds up getting bumped off the flight. Now the boys have to figure out how to switch Christy for Parker. Leonard Stone appears as Colonel "Black Jack" Cooper.

Once again, Parker is in big trouble with Binghamton, and the Captain has arranged for his transfer to a certain island, which is a frequent target of Japanese guns. But the Ensign is reprieved when Binghamton's lovely niece Cynthia (Marlo Thomas) — an anthropology grad student on a brief visit to the base — talks her uncle into keeping Parker around. Binghamton comes to think that his niece wants to marry Parker. He even has a dream were the crew of the 73 live with him. Cynthia explains again that she doesn't want to marry Parker, she only wanted to study Parker's body structure.

Fuji is tired of always being left behind when the boys go out to party. They agree to take him out one time. Binghamton must put on a show of good will toward the local natives in order to please George Gregory (John Archer), a visiting V.I.P. But, his plan is complicated by Fuji's love affair with Sulani, the native Chief's lovely daughter. Maloco, Sulani's very jealous boyfriend, is out to get even and disrupts a party given for the natives and Gregory at the base.

After Binghamton forbids their fraternization with the female personnel of the base, McHale and the guys find a secret hideaway where they can bend the rules a bit with the nurses. The Captain, with the help of the crew's new parrot mascot, believes McHale and the crew are dealing with the Japanese. Binghamton finds a map with the location of the hideaway and thinks McHale is meeting the enemy there. Binghamton brings Admiral Rogers (Roy Roberts) over to help arrest McHale and his men for treason. When Fuji let's them know what's going on, McHale and the guys and girls must quickly whip up a plan to cover themselves. Maura McGiveney and Julie Gregg appear as nurses.

Marooned on a supposedly deserted island for their mandatory survival test, Parker and Binghamton are captured by a Japanese patrol. McHale and the crew, on their way to New Caledonia to try out for the Navy talent show, are captured as well when they drop in to check on the Captain and Parker. They must all then utilize their various talents in a plan to get out of the situation. Frank Gerstle appears as Capt. Cummings, the new Com-Fleet Training Officer. Mako as Lt. Sakawa.

Binghamton wants to bring Dr. Halifert (John Hubbard) to McHale's island in an effort to prove the crew is suffering from battle fatigue. Before they get there, Nurse Molly tips McHale off. When Dr. Halifert arrives, he finds the crew acting perfectly normal. In another effort to get the goods on the 73 Crew, Binghamton lures the boys into the hospital under false pretenses, and has them injected them with sodium pentothal (or "truth serum"). This causes them to tell him everything he wants to know. McHale and Parker must then work up a plan to get them off the hook, by literally giving Binghamton a dose of his own medicine.

Binghamton catches the boys up to their usual pranks and threatens to demote all of them. After the Captain has his annual physical exam, the guys see an opportunity to get him out of the way for a while by "doctoring" his X-rays to make it look like he's dying. But the plan backfires when, in an effort to go out a hero, Binghamton volunteers to lead the 73 crew on a dangerous mission to destroy an enemy fuel dump. When Binghamton finally learns that the x-rays were manipulated, it is too late. Admiral Rogers calls and thanks Binghamton for going on the raid. Once on the island, Binghamton and Parker get separated from the others and wind up getting captured. McHale and the boys find a way to destroy the fuel dump and rescue Binghamton and Parker. Julie Gregg appears as a Nurse. John Fujioka appears as a Japanese Lieutenant.

In an effort to gather evidence of any shady activities, Binghamton appoints Carpenter as the 73's new Executive Officer, and makes Parker the base's Laundry Officer. After Parker fouls up, McHale and the guys try to help him out, but Carpenter catches them in the act. With Fuji's help, the boys make Carpenter think he's been captured. Binghamton brings Admiral Rafferty (Philip Ober) to McHale's island to prove that McHale is working for the enemy. McHale comes up with a plan that makes it look like Parker is leading an offensive against a Japanese attack on the island. The Admiral is so impressed that he insists Parker is returned to the 73.

When Binghamton learns that all Chief Petty Officers are to be shipped out, he talks all the guys into taking the exam for CPO. He then fixes the results to see that all of them pass. Now without a crew, the 73 is to be scrapped, and McHale and Parker are to be reassigned. But a very determined Ensign Parker takes it upon himself to keep the 73 in business. Parker does, however, manage to sink Admiral Hardesy's (John Zaremba) PT boat in the process.

Nurse Suzie Clayton (Yvonne Craig) has agreed to be part of the show that the crew of the 73 is planning if they can get Binghamton's approval. At first, Binghamton agrees to the show. Then his wife Martha (Ann Doran), who has come to visit the base as part of the Women's Navy League tour, arrives. The Captain, who was to escort Nurse Clayton to the shindig, now calls the show off. Suzie tries to talk Binghamton into putting the show back on. Admiral Rogers arrives and mistakes the pretty young nurse for Binghamton's wife. McHale and Parker must hustle to keep the situation a secret from Binghamton's real wife. Parker screws up and puts Martha on a same plane with the Admiral.

After the guys swipe Binghamton's dictation machine, Parker is nailed for the crime while in the process of returning it. The Captain throws him into the brig, pending Court Martial. Parker must then work with McHale and the boys in a complicated plan to try to make Binghamton drop the charges, by making him think he's losing his mind. Everywhere Binghamton goes, he sees Parker. The barber shop, the hospital and even in his cell. And it doesn't help that a visiting Admiral resembles Parker. Gary Owens appears as the 1st Sailor.

McHale's gambling, conniving, saloon-keeping old friend Maggie Monohan (Jean Willes) is back in business in New Caledonia. Binghamton has been ordered to shut her down by Admiral Slocum (Bill Quinn). Seeing an opportunity to "kill two birds with one stone," Binghamton schemes to nail McHale and the crew along with her. But, McHale and Maggie join forces in a plan to keep him from doing so, counting on Binghamton's greed.

Struck on the head during a Japanese raid, Parker develops regressive amnesia, and thinks he's returned to his childhood days at summer camp. McHale and the guys must then try to keep the Ensign out of sight long enough to think of a way to cure him. But, Parker sneeks over to mainside where Binghamton finds him. Realizing that Parker has amnesia, the Captain wants to bring him before Fleet Medical Officer Moran (Nelson Olmsted). Binghamton is happy to lose Parker in a medical discharge. The Japanese shell the base and Parker is hit in the head again, bringing him back to normal. But, this time Binghamton also gets hit in the head and thinks he's someone else.

The boys are desperate to raise $300 for a tonsillectomy for Christy's little girl. Gruber and the guys try to pass off a paint-by-numbers portrait as a genuine Gauguin. Binghamton gets in the way of the scheme when he learns that the paintings are not Gaugain's. But McHale advises him that they are painted by Paul Gauguin's brother named Claude. Binghamton wants proof. Parker poses as Claude Gauguin and will paint Binghamton's portrait. J. Edward McKinley appears as Senator Duncan.

Admiral Hardesy has a shipment of real eggs sent to Taratupa for the Easter Holidays. It will be up to Binghamton to protect the eggs until the Admiral can make the trip to the base for the pick-up. In the meantime, the crew of the 73 steal the Admiral's eggs to make some moonshine eggnog for a profit. While searching McHale's island for the stolen eggs, Binghamton, Carpenter, and the Admiral are captured by Japanese soldiers, drunk on the egg nog. But they're soon rescued by Parker dressed as the Easter Bunny on his way to an Easter egg hunt, supervised by McHale and the guys, for some native school children. Rollin Moriyama and Mako appear as the Japanese.

An island chimp goes through Binghamton's window and takes a necklace that he had bought for his wife. Binghamton panics when he learns that Naval Intelligence is on its way to investigate the disappearance of the $1000 jade necklace, which he bought with funds "borrowed" from the Officer's Club. Then, after the necklace turns up, Binghamton tries to frame McHale and his men with the crime in order to cover his tracks. But, Binghamton's plan backfires when he unknowingly enlists Naval Intelligence Lt. Crawford (Jeanne Bal) to help him.

The crew of the 73 is in New Caledonia as the Navy wants an oil treaty signed with the Shah of Durani (Stanley Adams). But the Shah refuses to sign any treaty unless an Admiral is present. After Parker saves the life of the Shah's daughter Karema (Brenda Benet), the Shah insists he be promoted to Admiral. Parker takes full advantage of his situation, so that he can fill in for Admiral Rogers in negotiations for the drilling rights to the Shah's oil-rich island nation. Gruber, Bell and Binghamton pose as Admirals when Parker goes missing. Then when Admiral Rogers shows up, a fast thinking McHale straightens everything out. Ivan Bonar appears as the Shah's Major Domo.

After running into Jerry Colonna in New Caledonia, McHale and the guys talk the bug-eyed, mustachioed comic into making an unscheduled stop for a show on Taratupa. But when they learn that the base doesn't qualify for a Special Services show, they must make some special arrangements for an "epidemic" at the base hospital. Meanwhile, Captain Binghamton is being drilled by a medical Admiral named Henshaw (Tyler McVey). It seems that Henshaw has read some records and believe that some of the men at Taratupa are faking sickness. Binghamton orders Carpenter to have the hospital cleared. But, this is at the same time McHale is trying to fill the beds for the Colonna show. Henshaw makes a surprise inspection and McHale has to explain why they were trying to fill the beds.

Binghamton tries to frame the 73 crew for the manufacture and sale of illegal liquor, and has them all thrown into the brig pending an investigation. With Fuji's help, McHale and the guys manage to escape from jail. They then execute a complicated scheme involving "McHale's Mob" to make the Captain look like a lunatic in the eyes of the Fleet Legal Officer, Capt. Shepard (Robert F. Simon). Nelson Olmsted appears as Dr. Moran, the psychiatrist. Clay Tanner appears as a Marine Guard.

Kwazniak (Marvin Kaplan), an MIT-trained electronics wizard, comes to the base to convert the 73 into a fully automated, remote-controlled vessel. McHale and the crew fear that they may soon become obsolete and be transferred somewhere else. The only hope for McHale and his crew is if they can jam the radio frequency on the day of the test. If they can show the Adm. Hardesy (John Zaremba) that the boat is uncontrollable then they can save their positions. Willy is unable to get to the jamming radio, so it looks hopeless for the crew of the 73. The test starts out without any problems, but things soon go wrong with help from a very unlikely source. Sammy Shore appears as a Guard.

Angry after another mishap with Parker, Binghamton assigns the Ensign to coast-watching duty in a hazardous location. But he quickly changes his mind when he finds that Parker may be the only source of his extremely rare blood type in the South Pacific. Binghamton now wants Parker protected. He even takes him away from the 73 and places him at his residence to make sure nothing happens to him. The boys find out that a nurse fabricated the blood samples so that Parker wouldn't be sent away. The boys must now find a way for Binghamton to not want Chuck around without letting him know about the deception. Ann Elder appears as Lt. Melba Benson, a clumsy nurse that falls for Parker.

Binghamton is upset about losing his civilian job after the war and is looking to get on the good-side of a firm so that when the war is over he has a good job. Lieutenant Whitworth (Steve Franken) gets assigned to the base. Whitworth is in charge of the largest life insurance company on the mainland. Binghamton is bending over backwards to impress Whitworth so that he can be a salesman after the war. Whitworth tells Binghamton that if he can sell a policy to all the 73 crew then he will hire him as an agent. But the Captain's high-pressure sales tactics prompt McHale and the guys to work up a plan to get back at him.

In response to a letter from Gruber and the guys, glamorous movie star Mimi St. Clair (Jean Hale) makes the trip to Taratupa with a plan to create some publicity for herself. Upon arriving in Taratupa, Binghamton is upset that Ms St.Clair is here to see the crew of the 73. Binghamton had plans to take her to com-fleet and introduce her to Admiral Rogers. So Binghamton sends McHale out on a phony mission. Mimi has her chance to make the headlines and stows away on the 73. But things do not go as Mimi had planned and her secretary (Fay DeWitt) winds up grabbing all the headlines. Gary Owens appears as a Reporter.

Binghamton pressures Orvie Tuttle (Michael Burns), a young new member of the 73 crew, into spying on McHale and the guys, to try to gather evidence of any shady activities. But the Captain's plan is foiled by another new member of the crew, Shorty the Chimp, who proves to be not only very intelligent, but an excellent sailor as well.

McHale, the 73 crew, greedy Captain Binghamton, and Lieutenant Carpenter have all been transferred to a base in the little coastal town of Voltafiore, Italy. They soon find themselves dealing with the town's crooked, money-hungry Mayor Lugatto (Jay Novello) and his assistant Dino Baroni (Dick Wilson). From claiming a whiplash from a door hitting him, to creating an accident with the PT 73, this mayor has his hands into everything. But when Fuji makes the trip to Italy and the mayor accidentally comes across him, the mayor believes he will receive an cash award from Binghamton by turning in the Japanese spy. McHale and the boys manage to convince Binghamton that Fuji is an American soldier.

Binghamton is in the middle of a bubble-bath from a tub that he confiscated as a spoil of war. After some mishap, the tub rolls into the street and right against Colonel Harrigan's jeep. Now the Colonel wants the spoil of war and he confiscates Binghamton's tub. But, Binghamton steals it back. Meanwhile, in search of a hot shower, McHale, Parker, Gruber, and Tinker are trapped by a German patrol behind enemy lines, and must masquerade as an Italian family in order to save themselves, as well as the Captain and Lieutenant Carpenter. Henry Beckman joins the cast as recurring character Colonel Harrigan. Ron Soble appears as the German Sergeant.

Binghamton angers the local Italians after he selfishly forbids their fraternization with Naval personnel. Local girl Gina (Victoria Vetri) wants to marry her sweetheart, who happens to be an Italian soldier, before he is sent away to prison camp. McHale reluctantly agrees but can only perform the wedding on the boat. But the Mayor of the town invites the entire village. And with McHale only thinking it will be a few people, it ends up with the entire town wanting to get on McHale's boat. Binghamton must quickly make amends with the villagers in order to please a certain VIP, due soon for a visit. So he allows McHale and the townsfolk to throw the big wedding bash.

Christy has been arrested by Binghamton and is housed in the local Navy brig. McHale says he will go talk with Colonel Harrigan about the incident. The problem is that McHale is restricted to base and leaving could get him an AWOL charge. But he goes hoping to get Christy off. During his absence McHale's Italian cousin Giuseppe (Ernest Borgnine in a dual role), who happens to bear a very strong resemblance to his American counterpart, shows up. The crew will let Giuseppe stand in for McHale when Binghamton comes looking for him. But it will not be easy since the cousin can speak no English.

Gruber and the guys find that there is money to be made in the lucrative German war souvenir market. The guys, McHale, and Colonel Harrigan are all captured by a German patrol during a souvenir-hunting trip to an off-limits town. Parker and Fuji collaborate on a clever plan to rescue their comrades. Bart Burns appears as the Motor Pool Sgt. James Frawley appears as the German Noncom.

Binghamton closes the town to all personal after Ensign Parker accidentally assaults him. With the town closed and Parker in the brig, McHale and Mayor Lugatto have to find a way to make Binghamton reopen the town and release Parker. They plan to turn the glory-hungry Binghamton into "The Great Liberator" and erect a statue of him in the main square. Binghamton now opens the town, but Parker is still in jail. McHale comes up with a last minute way to get Parker freed. John Gallaudet appears as Admiral Laurence. Ralph Manza appears as Angelo Barone, the sculptor.

After being sent on a hike by Binghamton, the crew come upon an estate that belongs to a beautiful Contessa that happened to flee the area due to the war. The crew thinks that this is a nice place for them to throw a small party. In the meantime, Binghamton and Harrigan are each throwing a small party themselves. It seems that both are trying to lure General Bronson (Simon Scott) to attend their respective party. When words get to each Commander that there are lights on at the Contessa's estate, both have to go and try to get her to attend their party. Both Binghamton and Harrigan have no choice but to go along with the plan of having Parker pose as the Contessa, in order to try to fool the General and keep everyone out of trouble.

General Bronson has issued orders that anyone caught profiteering will be brought up on charges. Binghamton is sneaking around the city trying to catch McHale and his men doing something illegal. Mayor Lugatto tricks McHale into going into the fishing business for him. With the 73 made out to be a fishing vessel, McHale sets off to find the fish. Upon returning Binghamton is waiting for him on shore. He now has the goods on McHale and will lead him to meet with the General. On the way a German sub starts bombing the town. Because the 73 looks like a fishing vessel, they are able to get close enough to sink the sub. That works out to the good for McHale and the crew, but very much not-so-good for Binghamton and Lugatto.

Fed up with their less-than-pleasant accommodations, McHale and the guys move to an abandoned wine cellar. It just so happens that a cargo ship has been sunk near the coast and the crew find all sorts of luxurious furniture to furnish the place with. But first greedy Binghamton, then Harrigan, impound their furnishings for their own use. McHale and the guys dress up as Germans and steal the furniture from Harrigan. Harrigan believes Binghamton had something to do with the heist. In order to be able to keep the furniture, the boys have to make it look as if it were destroyed.

There is no wine in Voltafiore and Binghamton wants to get some to give to General Bronson. McHale and his crew come across a German boat in a cove while on patrol. When the crew goes into the cove to see what the Germans were doing, they find that they were trying to get cases of stolen wine off the sea floor. McHale comes up with a plan where he will empty the bottles of wine and store the drink in barrels. Then he will fill the bottles of wine with explosives and replace the cases on the bottom of the sea. Mayor Lugatto finds out that McHale is placing wine cases at the bottom of the cove. Binghamton retrieves the wine. McHale has to make sure Binghamton doesn't open a bottle.

Mayor Lugatto wants the town's opera house back in business. McHale's crew gets caught taking building supplies and are put in jail. Binghamton is recording a song for his wife's anniversary. Even though the singing is hard to take, Rosa tells him that he has the best voice around and asks him to sing with her. They come up with a plan to have Binghamton sing the lead in the opera company's season-opener, despite the Captain's painfully obvious lack of talent. Now Binghamton will help with the supplies for the Opera House. He even wants to invite General Bronson to attend the event. McHale has to come up with a plan where Binghamton won't be heard singing.

Mayor Lugatto is running a racket in the form of a "Good Luck Fountain" in the town square. Binghamton sees the fountain and immediately shuts it down. Binghamton is going to a conference and will be gone a few days. McHale wants to help Ensign Parker who is feeling low. So with Binghamton gone, McHale gets the Mayor to reopen the fountain. Parker can now wish for a girl. But when Binghamton returns after the conference is canceled, he throws the Mayor into jail, pending impeachment proceedings, for reopening the fountain. So, to get the Captain to let the Mayor out of jail and reopen the fountain, McHale and the guys must come up with a plan to convince Binghamton that "The Curse of Voltafiore" has befallen him.

Colonel Harrigan wants to take over McHale's beach for himself. He goes to Binghamton and tells him that General Bronson is to make a visit to check on the moral of the officers. If things are not going well then Binghamton will be shipped off to North Africa. Binghamton is going to have to move McHale's crew into his building and pretend that the two are getting along splendidly. McHale and his crew do not want to be in town and Binghamton does not really want the crew at his residence. When they find out Harrigan made the whole thing up, McHale and the Captain, independently, think of a similar plan to get back at him. But it becomes a mess when the two plans are staged at the same time.

Binghamton comes across a tape recorder that belongs to Parker. It seems that Parker was recording some of the guys and they were talking about all the big schemes they had made against Binghamton over the last few months. Binghamton now has the evidence needed to start a court-martial against the crew of the 73. He summons General Williams (William Mims), the Judge Advocate General to present it. But when a potted-plant hits Binghamton in the head making him woozy, McHale thinks of a plan where they can get the recorder back. The plan includes making Binghamton think the war is over and he is at a reunion of war vets. But when General Williams shows up during the execution of the plan, things may get even worse.

Note: Gruber holds up a newspaper saying that the Brooklyn Dodgers blew another pennant and predicted they'd win in 1951, which, in real life, they didn't.

After McHale defies Binghamton's orders and travels to a nearby town to attend his little cousin's birthday party, Binghamton tries to nail him on a desertion charge. But McHale manages to stay out of trouble when he and his look-alike Italian cousin, Giuseppe, assume each other's identities long enough to fool Binghamton and General Grayson (Willis Bouchey).

Note: Ernest Borgnine plays a dual role.

Parker tries, unsuccessfully, to set three young Italian thieves on the straight and narrow with some good old-fashioned Boy Scout training. But after McHale and the Crew are arrested and jailed for the gang's crimes, the boys set out to help their Scoutmaster and his crew, and wind up nailing Binghamton in the bargain.

Gruber and the guys find a way to both make and deliver their homemade liquor when they build a mobile distillery in an old fire engine. But their scheme goes sour when Binghamton confiscates the old engine for the new Voltafiore Volunteer Fire Department, formed as a part of his new civic improvement program. Binghamton will be the chief of the fire crew and place townsfolk as members. This will surely make points with General Bronson. That is until he has to put out the General's jeep fire with moonshine.

Parker takes it on the lam after an accident with a machine gun has him thinking that he's killed the Captain. A furious Binghamton orders an all-out search for Parker and offers a sizeable reward for his capture. McHale and the boys must first find Parker, then cook up a complicated plan to get him out of trouble. The plan involves getting Binghamton to believe that Parker saved his life from the Germans. Ralph Manza appears as a gypsy. Clay Tanner appears as an MP.

An AWOL WAC Corporal named Sally Murdock (Joan Staley) is trying to see her sweetheart Sgt. Clancy (Don Stewart) before her unit ships out to North Africa. McHale reluctantly agrees to help Sally. Sgt. Clancy is a driver for Colonel Harrigan. So McHale asks Harrigan to come to his base and give a lecture. But at the lecture Binghamton is spying around the camp and notices Sally in the bushes. He thinks the female is a German agent and arrests her. McHale still does not give up. With Sally under arrest, he is still bound to help her before Binghamton finds out that she is AWOL. Parker must play the part of a WAC MP, as part of McHale's plan to free her and reunite her with Clancy. Jackie Joseph and Janice Carroll appear as WAC MPs.

Binghamton devises a scheme to make McHale and the 73 crew look bad in the eyes of visiting Congresswoman Adele Austin (Elvia Allman). Miss Austin is looking to make sure that the US Armed Forces are conducting themselves with dignity in the theater of Europe. If Binghamton can film McHale and his crew in a drunken party, he just might be able to get rid of them. But thanks to McHale and his crew, the Congresswoman's film has been manipulated to only show Binghamton. Binghamton must then cooperate with them in order to get himself out of a tough situation with the Congresswoman and get back at Harrigan at the same time.

Binghamton is trying to build a work-out area for the men to impress the General. But when Colonel Harrigan confiscates the equipment it looks like Harrigan is the one that is going to get on the General's good side. Binghamton decides to now build the General a golf course. Con-artist Guido Panzini (Pat Harrington Jr.) happens to overhear Binghamton. For the small fee of $1000, Guido will build him one that will really impress the General. Binghamton pays him the amount out of the Naval recreation fund. Thanks to McHale, Binghamton finds out that Guido is a con-artist. But by then Guido has already fled the area with the money. Binghamton enlists the aid of McHale and the 73 crew in not only getting the money back, but making a fool out of Harrigan as well.

Binghamton learns that there are German spies operating in the area. A courier drops off some secret papers and when Binghamton isn't looking, a chimp takes them. The chimp makes his way to McHale's camp, also taking letters from there, and then brings the papers back to his Gypsy owner. Binghamton sets up the thief by placing another letter on his desk. Sure enough, the chimp returns and when Binghamton follows the chimp he finds him in the company of Parker who was also looking for the thief. Binghamton arrests McHale and Parker for espionage. He then follows the orders on the papers that sends all PT boats into a dangerous situation. Gen. Bronson arrives and they figure out that the orders were sent by the German spies. Kent McCord (credited as Kent McWhirter) appears as the courier.

Ensign Parker damages a local's boat and now the crew has to get the money to replace it or it will be reported to Binghamton. McHale's crew wants to put on a beauty show for the army men to raise the money. With the tickets sold, local girls ready and the food mysteriously requisitioned for, everything is set. Meanwhile, Binghamton has just received a new secretary, a regulation-quoting lady ensign named Sandra Collins (Maura McGiveney). She runs across the strange requisitions from McHale's crew. After she reports it to Binghamton, they go out and take back all the food and put a stop to the beauty show. Sandra feels bad that her action got the show axed. She goes over to talk with the crew and thinks of a plan where they can still have the show and it will not violate any code of misconduct. The plan also helps them bag a German submarine. In the meantime, she and Mr. Parker develop a mutual attraction to one another. Bill Quinn appears as Admiral Ennis.

Binghamton leads the 73 crew to believe McHale is being transferred. In reality, the Skipper has gone to training. Binghamton promotes Ensign Parker to skipper of the PT 73 but only if he is rough and tough enough to handle the job. So Parker goes into this wild-man type mold and starts working the crew like dogs. Fed up with the power-drunk Parker, the crew all put in for transfers. But when they find out that McHale's absence is only temporary, Parker and the crew must come up with a plan to get the Captain to tear up the transfer papers. This involves taking the Captain out on what could be a "suicide" mission.

The town is in the midst of its 500th anniversary celebration. There is a "King of the Festival" contest between Binghamton and McHale, with McHale crowned the winner. This infuriates Binghamton and he tries to arrange to have Lt. Pratt (Don Knotts), a visiting psychiatrist, declare the 73 crew unfit for duty. Lt. Pratt finds nothing wrong with the crew. But with the crew set to perform a 'Red Riding Hood' play at the festival in town, Binghamton again calls Pratt to view the crew in their costumes. Not knowing anything about the festival, Pratt declares that the men have battle fatigue and is sending them to the hospital ship that sails in a few hours. This forces McHale to come up with a plan to keep his crew together and turn the tables on the Captain. Nelson Olmsted appears as Colonel Wilcox.

Pete Morgan (Herb Vigran) from Globe Magazine is set to visit the base to make some pictures of McHale and his crew. Binghamton has got word about Morgan's arrival and wants his picture on the front page instead of McHales, so he sends McHale out on a mission. But McHale is going to wait for Pete Morgan and then take him out on the mission with them. Binghamton gets wind of McHale disobeying his order and goes out to his tents to make sure they have gone. A German patrol has come up on the tents and are now dressed like American sailors. When Binghamton gets to the tents he is taken hostage by the Germans. After Parker is also captured, McHale and the guys come to the rescue, and wind up having their picture on the cover of the magazine. James Frawley appears as the German Sergeant.

Ensign Parker wrecks the Captain's jeep. With all the wrecks that have been reported, Binghamton want to keep this off the record and advises McHale to fix the jeep without any help from motor pool. The only way that McHale can get a new motor for the jeep is from a local repairman that is in need of a body to race his new motor in the town's annual Grand Prix auto race. If McHale will loan him the body for the race, he will give him the motor when the race is over. Binghamton is supposed to be away while the race is on but comes back unexpected. Now McHale is trying to keep the proceedings away from him but it will be nearly impossible as Colonel Harrigan and General Bronson arrive right at the finish of the race. The General lets things slide because the Army acquires one of the Germans' new staff cars that one of the race drivers had stolen.

Binghamton has received word from the General to put a stop to all fraternizing with the local women. The Captain also orders all dogs in town must now have a license. Meanwhile, concerned about Parker's unusual behavior, McHale and the guys investigate his situation. They follow him to a house where he meets a beautiful girl. So they think he is seeing the girl. But Parker is actually just walking her dog Angelina. It all comes to a head when Binghamton comes in to arrest Parker for violating the fraternizing rule. But when he finds out that Angelina is having babies, he knows he has him on more charges than one. That is, until Colonel Harrigan finds out the babies are puppies.

Count Cesare Spinetti (David Opatoshu) feels he was dishonored by Ensign Parker. The Count, who is an expert marksman, challenges Parker to an old fashion duel. Parker has been feeling down about being called a coward, so he takes up the challenge and will fight the Count. McHale tries to convince Spinetti that Parker is also an expert shot, but the Count doesn't fall for it. The next morning at the duel, Binghamton shows up, hoping the arrest Parker for dueling. In the process, the Captain insults Spinetti and is now challenged to a duel. A German air raid prevents any duel from happening. The next day, it is Colonel Harrigan that insults the Count.

Washington insider, Frank Templeton (Stanley Adams), is making a visit to Italy to see how the war effort is advancing. Mr. Templeton is a political big-wig with a reputation for turning war heroes into politicians. Binghamton is thinking about running for Congress if he can get the backing of Mr. Templeton. Binghamton must quickly change from a "desk jockey" into a fearless, battle-hardened commander in order to try to become the boss's next project after the war. So he becomes part of PT 73 crew and goes out hunting for Germans. When no Germans can be found, Binghamton blackmails the boys into staging a German ambush. His plan backfires when an army unit captures the crew in their German uniforms.